


Dangerous Liaisons

by MissSlothy



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Episode: s03e20 Olelo Pa'a (The Promise), M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 05:17:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17718782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissSlothy/pseuds/MissSlothy
Summary: This story covers the hours after Freddie Hart's funeral.





	Dangerous Liaisons

**Author's Note:**

> A couple of the flashbacks featuring Freddie come from one of my other stories: 'My Inspiration'. I doubt that's going to be finished (my laptop ate the last two chapters) so I decided to reuse the scenes for this story.
> 
> I've been a bit creative with the timeline with this story. Sorry about that but it works better this way :0)
> 
> Un-betaed UK English.

**_2005_ **

_“Missed me, Smooth Dog?”_

_Steve doesn’t answer.  He hasn’t missed_ Freddie _._ _That’s what he tells himself as they get naked in another motel room in another town in the middle of nowhere._

_He’s missed_ _this._

_He’s missed the scrape of whiskers across his nipples, the way the pinpricks of pain stoke the fire in his belly.  He’s missed the large hands digging into his body, he’s missed the strength and muscle and the_ _challenge_ _of pitting his body against someone else’s during sex.  He’s missed the sweat, the swearing and the laughter._

_He’s missed just being able to be him._

H50H50H50H50

Steve holds his body ramrod straight as the last shot rings out over Freddie’s casket.  The acrid smell of cordite lingers in the air.  The sound of Kelly’s grief-filled sobs cut into his heart.

It’s been three years since he’s spoken to her.  He’s never actually met her in person.  In his head he’s often imagined talking to her about Freddie.  He wants to share his memories of the man they both loved. 

Now he’s here though he can see that’s never going to happen.  Freddie’s open grave is a yawning hole in front of them, a barrier that neither of them can cross.  His memories of Freddie have the power to hurt her and Freddie’s daughter.  He’d never forgive himself for that.

He’s vaguely aware of Danny stepping up beside him.  He follows his friends as they head for their car.  His precious memories of Freddie are still jostling for attention.  Angry, he shoves them to the back of his mind.

H50H50H50H50

_“I met someone while I was back home.”_

_Steve takes a drag on the cigarette Freddie’s offering him.  The smoke drifts up to the tar-stained ceiling of the motel room._

_“Her name’s Kelly.  We were childhood sweethearts.”_

_He takes another drag and passes the cigarette back.  Freddie’s staring at him, their faces only inches apart on the pillow._

_“You knew this was just for fun right, it wasn’t forever?  Just a way to let off some steam?”_

_Steve leans in for a kiss, notes how Freddie’s cock twitches in response._

_They’ve got seven hours before they’re due back at base._

H50H50H50H50

“Steve?  You okay?”

He blinks.  The present day forms around him.  They’re at Freddie’s wake.  Cath and Joe have already left: they’d only been given a day’s leave.  There are a few other people in uniform but mostly it’s Kelly’s family and friends.

“Babe?”

Danny’s standing beside him.  The corner of his lips are curled up in gentle encouragement.  His eyebrows are drawn together in worry.

“I’m good.”

Danny’s expression shifts to disbelief.  “You’re not.” His hand hovers at Steve’s elbow. “It’s okay.  You’re not supposed to be.”

He looks away.  Denial is hovering on his lips.  He learnt at an early age to hide his true feelings. It’s not an easy habit to break.

H50H50H50H50

_Freddie’s fingers hover over the buttons of his shirt.  His skin shivers with the need to be touched._

_“Tell me if you don’t want this.”_

_He looks into Freddie’s eyes.  He moistens his lips.  Freddie smells of musk and sandalwood.  His blood stirs at his scent._

_“Steve?”_

_His eyes drift closed.  This could end his career.  His Dad is thousands of miles away in Hawaii but in his minds-eye he can imagine his disappointment.  This isn’t something McGarrett men do._

_Taking a step back, he opens his eyes.  His heart is heavy with regret.  “We can’t.  If they find out—”_

_“They won’t,” Freddie promises, as he flicks the first button free.  “We’ll take this to our graves.”_

H50H50H50H50

Steve lets Danny steer him inside their hotel room.  They’ve already said goodnight to Chin and Kono,  Kono had hugged him: he can still smell her perfume on his jacket.

His uniform is hanging like a heavy weight on his shoulders.  It’s been suffocating him all day.  His fingers fumble with the jacket buttons.  Danny’s already ahead of him, nudging his hands away.  Gradually, button by button, Danny aids his escape.

He sighs with relief as the fabric slides off his shoulders.  Blinking tiredly, he watches as Danny hangs it up.  His friend’s handling it with reverence, running his fingers over it to smooth out the creases.

The image evokes other memories.  Looking away, he swallows against the lump of emotion in his throat.

He’s carried a wound in his heart since Freddie’s passing.  The passing of time and stubborn-denial has helped him patch it over.  Tonight, the wound is raw again.

H50H50H50H50

_“Fuck, Steve._ Fuck _.”_

_Freddie’s cock in his mouth stops him from replying.  Closing his eyes, he applies suction.  Freddie’s splayed fingers slide over his closely-shaved hair, urging him on._

_They’re on furlough for a whole week.  It’s risky spending that much time together.  Other people might have thought the danger outweighed the reward.  For two Navy SEALS, it presented an exciting challenge._

_The guest in the next room starts banging on the wall.  Apparently, he doesn’t share their risk-taking genes._

_Freddie comes with a yell of triumph.  The bedframe rattles as his hips jerk upwards. There’s a loud snap as one of the wooden slats under the mattress breaks._

_Steve ignores it.  His own erection is screaming for attention.  Crawling up Freddie’s body he starts rutting against the crease at the top of Freddie’s thigh.  He groans as Freddie’s hands clamp around his hip bones, digging in deep.  He growls at the increased pressure: it’s building the friction between their bodies.  There’s no way he’s going to last long._

_Sensation takes over.  His spine curves as he chases his climax.  Throwing his head back, he thrusts down hard.  He curses as his climax sweeps over him.  It earns them more thumping on the wall.  Laughing, they sprawl in a sweaty heap across the creaky bed._

_The knocking on the wall starts up again.  For a second he feels sorry for the stranger next door.  Both he and Freddie are in peak physical condition.  They won’t need much sleep tonight._

H50H50H50H05

“Tell me about him.”

Steve frowns, considering Danny’s request.  Stretched out on his hotel bed, he’s still wearing his uniform shirt and pants.  At some point he’s taken off his shoes and tie.

Rolling his head, he looks over at the other bed in the room.  Danny’s half-sitting, propped up on a stack of pillows.  He’s still wearing his dark dress pants.  His white shirt’s unbuttoned half-way down his chest.  His cuffs are rolled back to his wrists.

“I’ve told you, a lot of it, it’s classified.”

Danny huffs.  He tucks one arm under his head.  “I get why you’re saying that.  The Navy they’ve got these rules…”  He pauses.  Then he clears his throat. “See…I think…I think maybe there was something more between you—”

“Danny—"

“Babe.” Danny rolls over to face him: his eyes are full of concern. “You don’t want to talk, you don’t have to.  But this…it’s eating you up inside.”

Lips pursed, he shakes his head. 

“You think I’m gonna _tell_ someone?”

“ _No_.”

“Then tell me something.  _Anything_.  You’ve gotta let it out.”

“I can’t.” _I promised_.

Danny sighs.  It’s heartfelt.  He’s had his share of bereavements too.  “He’s gone, babe.  Your words can’t hurt him.  And you’ve gotta know I’d never use them to hurt you.”

Steve nods.  His trust in Danny is absolute.  But it’s hard – so hard - when you’ve hidden your real self for so long. 

H50H50H50H50

_Steve’s used to warm weather.  The Hawaiian climate hasn’t prepared him for summer in Baghdad though._

_The temperature is scorching.  The sun burns his skin.  He’s wearing local dress rather than Navy issue fatigues but the light fabric is still sticking to his sweating skin._

_Right now he’s oblivious to the discomfort.  Their latest mission against insurgents has gone south.  His team’s taken casualties.  Freddie’s got a bullet in his leg.  It’s just millimetres from an artery._

_“Lieutenant.”_

_Someone grabs him by the elbow.  He swings round, angry words on his lips.  He bites them back: it’s his commanding officer.  Reluctantly, he halts.  He gestures at the large tent in front of him, a huge red cross is painted on its roof.  “I’m going to check on my team, sir.”_

_His commander’s eyes flick over to the tent and back to him.  “I need your report, McGarrett.  Now.”_

_“Sir—”_

_“Now, Lieutenant.”_

_His commander turns on his heel, heading for the Command tent.  The conversation is over.  An order’s been given._

_Steve schools his expression to show his compliance.  Biting the inside of his mouth, he tastes blood.  Turning away from the hospital tent, he follows his commanding officer._

_It takes every last bit of his self-control not to look back._

H50H50H50H50

In the end he tells Danny everything.  It’s not really a surprise.  One of the things that makes Danny a great cop is his empathy.  The other is huge heart.

They’re watching TV when it happens, still both stretched out on their beds.  He’s not sure what triggers it.  Maybe it’s the stress of the funeral.  He’s exhausted to the bone.  Or maybe it’s lying in a hotel room that smells faintly of cigarette smoke that stirs everything up. 

It’s not until he tastes salt on his lips that he realises he’s crying. Surreptitiously he rubs them away.  His vision blurs and then he’s really crying, huge drops of misery sliding down his cheeks.

He doesn’t resist when Danny joins him on his bed.  As Danny arm slips around his shoulders, he hides his face in his chest.  Around gulped breaths he tells Danny all about Freddie, about their relationship.  What had started out as a bit of fun had turned into something more serious, at least for him.  He explains how jealous he’d been of Kelly – and how guilty he feels for leaving Freddie’s daughter without her Dad.

Letting the words loose isn’t easy.  It doesn’t cure the pain in his heart.  But knowing he’s found someone he can share his memories with – that they won’t have to die alongside Freddie – takes some of the weight off his shoulders.

Pulling away from Danny, he rubs at his face.  He grimaces at the mess he’s made of Danny’s shirt.  It’s damp with his tears, almost translucent. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, bracing himself.  Talking about things like this isn’t something men do.  It doesn’t feel right.

Danny huffs.  Loudly.  He pulls him back down so they’re laying side by side.  “You know it was a stupid rule, right?”

Steve peers at Danny’s face – they’re just inches apart.  He’d expected Danny to be angry.  But this anger isn’t directed at him.

“DADT,” Danny says, tightening his grip around Steve’s shoulders.  “It was a fucking stupid rule.”

“It was there for a reason,” he starts but Danny stops him, prodding a finger in his chest.

“Tomorrow,” he says, curling his finger back.  “We’ve got a seven hour flight.  We can argue it as much as you like.”

Steve tells himself to take a deep breath.  It _was_ a stupid fucking rule.  He can see that – now.  Still: “The _whole_ flight?

Danny chuckles.  The sound vibrates through both their bodies.  “Yeah.  It’ll be fun.”

Steve seriously doubts that.  He’ll be surprised if they’re not escorted off the flight before it leaves the runway.  But that’s tomorrow’s problem.  Right now, all he wants to do is sleep.

Danny obviously feels the same way.  He’s already muting the TV and dimming the lights.  It’s not the first time they’ve passed out somewhere together, still mostly dressed.  Usually it’s the couch in Steve’s office or the one in his living room.  Having a mattress is a unexpected bonus.

It’s not long before Danny’s snoring softly.  Closing his eyes, Steve wills his breathing to slow.  Having Danny close is reassuring.  His mind responds to his presence, gradually letting the events of the day go.

His last thought of the day is of Freddie.  His heart still aches at his loss.  He will always have regrets, will always wonder if he could have saved Freddie.  But Freddie’s death had been the catalyst that led him back to Hawaii – and Danny. 

That’s something he can’t regret.

The End


End file.
